Expose yourself

Some time ago I mentioned the personal insight might be the most important thing in life. However, gaining insight is quite difficult, but as with everything, exposure is the key to get there.

Lots of books, speeches and coaches out there are willing to help you gain personal insight. However, as with learning how to ride a bike, if you don’t go out and experience it for real you will never learn. If you want to learn about yourself don’t keep to yourself, otherwise conformation bias will limit you along with other factors. Get out there, expose yourself, ask the world about how your perceived. In other words, hunt for feedback.

Asking feedback is often seen as a good form of gaining personal insight, however, people tend to forget the influence of context. If you are a brutal boss asking for feedback, your staff might be withholding information because they are afraid of retaliation in one form or another. On the other side, if you are a nice guy people might not want to hurt your feelings. This effect is commonly revered to as the MUM effect and has a scientific basis. In some sense feedback is a biased tool if used with little forethought.

One sneaky way around the MUM effect is by asking for indirect feedback. Somehow asking someone what other people say about you grants them a form of anonymity which can provide a way out of the MUM effect.

So, expose yourself, just keep it appropriate.